Step In Your Marriage Monday - Stress

Daniel usually handles his stress quite well.  I know he has had plenty of stress from various tests and papers he's had to write over the last few years of taking his pharmacy school prerequisites (and there's that whole two tours in Iraq thing...), but he usually just kind of...handles it.  Yes, I've helped him study, tried to make his life a little easier during those times, and given a few extra hugs and back rubs, but I've never really had to do much to help him manage his stress.

This is no longer the case.

His pharmacy school interview is coming up and my beloved husband is....well...a basket case (and I say that in the most loving way possible).

He has been sick for three weeks straight and hasn't had restful sleep in just as long.  He spends his days in front of his computer, sometimes playing games to keep his mind off of his looming interview, but mostly doing research on anything and everything pharmacy school-related.  He can't remember most conversations he's had recently, because he was probably thinking about the answer to "Can you tell us about one moral dilemma you've had and how you dealt with it?" or "Why did you choose pharmacy school and not medical school?".  

In the beginning of these three weeks, I was ready to step up.  I was giving extra back rubs, reading pharmacy forums with him, and attempting to serve him hand and foot.

It didn't work.  Nothing did.  I tried everything in my "How to Be A Good Wife" arsenal and his stress level remained the same.

So, if your husband is insanely stressed about something going on in his life, I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what NOT to do.    

If your husband is stressed...

• do not ask him to clean out his car while you are at work and come home crazily frustrated that he didn't do the one task you asked of him that day.  He had a monstrous task list he created for himself and probably doesn't need his wife expressing her disappointment, when he is already beating himself up for not accomplishing more on 3 hours of sleep.
• do not tell him that he shouldn't feel stressed, because he's going to get in no matter what.  He doesn't believe that he'll get in, so his mind focuses on the "your stress is trivial" part and then feels like you're dismissing his feelings.  
• do not tell him that you don't feel like driving to the school of pharmacy to look around, when driving is one of his favorite ways to relax.  On a school night.  After running a bunch of errands.  No matter the circumstances, get yourself to feel like going.   
• do not ask him to help you come up with things you've done wrong over the past three weeks that have irritated his stress for the sake of a blog post.  He was stressed about it the first time and it probably wasn't the best idea to get him to relive it all. 

Oops.

But, I have not given up hope.  His interview is on January 20th and he won't find out if he's been accepted until early February-ish, so I have my mind set to make this time as pleasant as possible for the both of us.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." - Galatians 6:9

Giving up is not an option!  So, I will continue to do good, in as many ways as I can think of, whether they work or not.  The stress will not last forever.  Soon, he will be back to his loving, playful, thoughtful, giving self and I am so, so thankful that he's working so hard for our dreams.    

How, dear readers, do you deal with your husband's stress?